"I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Where your garden have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear that your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear that your love's for me"

- Dice by Finley Quaye

"Thank you, Jenna, for picking up Kim from practice. I should be home..." Teri braced her head against her hand and sighed. "I'll be home in a few hours, if I'm any later, can she stay over?"

"Any time. You know how much we adore Kim, especially Missy."

'You picked a great time to volunteer for a training mission,' Teri thought, cursing her absent husband. "And you know how we enjoy having Missy over."

"I know it's hard to be -- " Jenna began again, her slight southern accent more noticeable.

"I'm not a single working mother," Teri interrupted her. Jenna had been one of the first people she'd met after moving to Santa Monica. Sometimes though, her friend seemed to imply that she should have married someone with a more regular schedule. "I have a husband, he just has...other commitments."

"More important than his family?"

Teri glanced over at the family picture on her desk and closed her eyes. Jenna didn't understand the idea of being responsible to anything other than her husband and children. "It's not a fair question."

Suddenly, there was the sound of loud music and young voices. Teri heard a muffled, 'it's your mom' before a "Hi!"

"Hey sweetie, how was swimming practice?" Teri asked, relieved to have an excuse to end the conversation with Jenna.

"Great!" Kim chirped. "Coach said my time improved by a half second!"

"Half a second? That's amazing!" Teri tried to sound enthusiastic although she never quite understood measuring time that way.

"You remember I have that meet next week, right?"

"Wednesday at two," Teri recited from memory, grinning at the thought of being able to spend time with her daughter. "Nothing could keep me away."

"And dad?" She asked with a hopeful lilt

Teri tapped her nails against the desk, "I'm sure he'll try his best to be there. But you know he's..."

"Busy. I know."

Teri heard the hurt sound in her voice, that strange edge that she had to take from Jack. "But even if he isn't there, I know that he's proud of you and loves you so much."

"I know," she paused before speaking again. "I love you both. Are you gonna be home soon?"

Teri looked over at her inbox full of e-mail and newest client files.

"Work's piling up. But I'll try to get out of here as soon as possible."

"No, it's okay. I understand. I'll see you later, mom."

"I love you, Kimberly."

"I love you too, mom. Do you wanna talk to Missy's mom again?"

"No, that's okay. Tell her bye and thanks. I was thinking, this weekend, how about we have a girls' day out?"

Teri could hear her daughter's smile through the phone. "I really like that idea!"

"I thought you would. So manicures, a new outfit, some star watching?"

"Do you think we'll see Keanu this time?"

"Maybe."

"Or Tom Cruise! Oh, Missy would die if I saw Tom Cruise and she didn't."

"You know what they say about LA, anything could happen."

"You're the best mom ever. Ever. Ever."

Teri blinked and looked down at her desk. If she was the best mom ever. Ever. Ever. She would not be at work missing her 13 year old daughter's life.

"I love you so much. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay, bye!" A quick hang up, Teri could already see her daughter running in to tell her friend about the day.

Teri ran a hand through her short hair. Sometimes she missed the curls, but between being a mom and a working woman, she kept finding herself out of time in the morning. She had become sick of having to make it look perfect and when Kim wanted increasingly more complicated looks for her hair, well she finally just went to the hair dresser and had her take it all off. It didn't matter, especially since her husband, the one who she was supposed to dress to impress or turn on, or whatever Glamour was saying this month, didn't care about it and was gone almost half the time anyway.

She missed Jack. By this point, she thought he would be stuck behind a desk or working at a computer most of the time.

At least she hoped he would be home almost every night. Instead, he had month long undercover missions, dangerous assignments and these damn training missions where he'd be gone for weeks and not be able to tell her anything at all.

Two years ago his true identity had been discovered during an undercover assignment.

She remembered the phone call and being told that they couldn't tell her anything, but they had complete faith in his abilities to get out of the situation.

It had ended in a shoot-out, which she knew not from the CIA, but from the local news channel.

Kim was at sleep away camp. Teri held the phone in her hand and debating about calling the camp.

She remembered grabbing her keys and being about to leave the house to pick her up when the phone rang again.

And all those clichés about hearts in throats and the world standing still were absolutely true as the longest three seconds of her life passed before her husband said hello.

After that, she wanted to make him promise to stay away from danger. But asking Jack Bauer to stay away from danger was like asking him not to breathe.

Somehow he was always okay. Except for a knife wound he received a year earlier during a botched arrest he was miraculously unhurt. This time, he'd been grazed by one of the bullets but he swore it was shallow and almost invisible.

However, she had made him promise to stay closer to home.

Which was a stupid promise because the shoot-out had happened a half hour away. But the thought of him being reachable was enough that she took his pledge as a victory.

So when he suddenly had to leave on another 'training mission,' probably in a foreign country thousands of miles away, she was understandably upset.

Her intercom beeped. "Teri, do you have those plans for the Clark home?"

"I'll be right in Shelly." Teri said, gathering up her papers, putting her family out of her mind for a few moments, and exiting the office.

Teri drove past Jenna's house at 11 pm, too late to pick up her daughter.

She tried to leave earlier but Ian Clark hated the plans and in a conference call they had to scrap the entire thing and start over again.

Her head hurt and all she could think about was the thought of finally lying down and getting sleep before having to wake up and go back into the office to try to make Mr. Clark happy, again.

She turned off the car and stepped out, angry at herself. What the hell was she doing asking her friend to raise her daughter?

It was bad enough depending on Carol during those tough years when Kim was much younger and both she and Jack were trying to further their careers.

Teri had recognized that she couldn't work full time. So she only worked three days a week, which was why the work kept piling up and she knew this plan wasn't going to succeed. A friend of hers had talked about starting their own interior design company and every day she gave that idea more thought. It would mean more time in the office at first, but eventually she could make her own hours and finally have enough time for both work and family.

She opened the door and entered the alarm code. That would be the ending to a perfect day, having the rent-a-cops come and bother her. Luckily, the panel glowed green, which meant her mind wasn't complete mush and she made her way into the living room.

As she walked inside she stopped at the bookshelves and looked at the latest addition to the family pictures. Jack looked happy, Kim looked happy, and she looked content. Was she happy? Teri frowned as she contemplated the question. The woman in the picture seemed more okay than thrilled. But maybe that's what happens in life, a trade-off. Happiness for status-quo. 'That's not fair,' she thought. She and Jack were much more than status-quo.

A few weeks ago, she'd come home to find him standing in his very spot, looking at the same picture.

Teri wrapped her arms around Jack from behind and leaned her forehead against his back.

He turned around and kissed her, holding her tight against him.

"Kim?" she asked as he caressed her face.

"Friend's house," he answered in that low tone that after almost 14 years of marriage still sent shivers through her.

She smiled and kissed him back. He nudged her backwards, past the coffee table and onto the couch.

"Here?" she whispered as the weight of his body settled onto her. But she was already pulling at his tie and trying to slip off his jacket.

Their lips met again and she felt that familiar sensation of wanting to forget the world and just concentrate on the way his fingertips slid over her skin.

"Why not?" he answered, his hands holding her hips.

The couch was narrow and when he shifted positions she heard the sound of bone hitting something hard. His quick gasp confirmed her assumption.

"Are you okay?"

He muttered a soft curse and nodded, but placed one foot on the floor and pushed the coffee table back several inches.

Teri laughed as they rolled off the couch and onto the ground. "This isn't working very well."

He silenced her with another kiss.

Much later, in their bed, he held her hand and told her in an off handed manner that he had to go on a training mission in Arizona.

She'd looked up at him, never able to tell when he was lying and kissed his neck. "Okay," she said in a sleepy voice. "We'll tell Kim tomorrow."

A ringing phone brought her back to the present.

Her heart beat faster. A phone call at 11:30 at night rarely brought good news. 'No, think positively.' she thought, trying to forget about that odd distant look in his eyes when he left for the routine training mission.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sweetheart."

Teri couldn't admit her relief. It was the worst part about these secret assignments. She had to keep up the pretense that he wasn't in danger and that she wasn't inwardly thinking 'this could be the last time I speak to him.'

"How's Flagstaff?" she asked instead.

"You know I can't tell you that," he said in a serious tone.

"National security?"

"No, it's just too boring to talk about. Really, everything's fine."

"I was about to go to bed."

"I know, it's late...I just needed -- no, it is late. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Is everything okay?" She gripped the phone tighter.

"Yeah, just long days. How're things at home?"

"Well, Kim has that swim meet next week. You'll be home by then, right?" She regretted the harsh edge to her words, but he should put them before these crazy missions and she was getting increasingly hurt that he couldn't.

A moment of silence before "I'll try,"

"She misses you." A beat. "I miss you."

"I wish I could be there, sweetheart. I miss you both so much."

Teri blinked away sudden tears. For once she wanted him to tell her that he was afraid or that he needed to hear her voice or anything to let her know that there was a chance he wouldn't be coming back.

"Bring me back something with turquoise."

"I don't think I'm going to get off the base."

Code for: I don't think where I am has jewelry. "That's okay, just you in one piece is enough."

"Are you sure, I could stop and get another fertility mask."

She smiled and looked at the black mask behind the couch. It was one of his least favorite things she'd ever purchased but never missed the chance to tease her about her odd choice in antiques.

"I'm sure."

There was some noise in the background.

"Teri? I have to go, I'll call you later. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Jack." 'Stay safe,' she thought.

He hung up and she rubbed a hand over her eyes. Maybe that was one good thing about a loved one being at war. You knew they were at war, you knew they were in danger, and there was no guessing and no lying.

'He's not in Arizona,' she thought and walked into her bedroom. She swallowed as she looked at the empty bed, tried not to think about where her husband might actually be.

She crawled into bed and set her alarm for 6 AM. 'Tomorrow’s March 6th,' she thought, looking at the LED numbers. 'It's going to be a very busy day.'


END

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