OVER
by Catch22Girl
Spoilers: Season 4
Summary: Desperation leads Michelle to
commit the unthinkable.
Disclaimer: Characters not mine. Belong
to FOX and Real Time Productions.
Michelle had read stories
and seen movies about loyal women. Their husbands were
captured, jailed or missing and they never moved on. The
women in the stories were selfless and caring. They did
not care what society thought of them, what their parents
would possibly say, or how having a husband in jail would
affect their careers.
Your career, she thought, looking at the piece of paper
on the table. Her palms were damp and her eyes were dry.
At first she had romanticized it in her mind. Her husband
was being persecuted for loving her too much, she was the
heroine locked in a tower, he the wrongly accused. But
the reality of the trial tore apart her illusions.
No one asked if she wanted him to make the sacrifice, if
she could have lived with all the dead bodies her life
would have bought. The extent of his treason made her
nauseated. The man she married would have never betrayed
his country. One of the first things she fell in love
with, even before they dated, was Tony's deep sense of
right and wrong. Their values were parallel in that way -
he followed orders, understood the chain of command but
would step outside if things went wrong. This, however,
she could not forgive and was horrified to find herself
staring at him and thinking 'how could I love you now?'
The new head of CTU, Erin Driscoll, called her in for a
meeting soon after her assignment. She'd been quick to
get to the point, which was that the wife of a known
traitor was a liability CTU could not afford to carry.
Michelle had hated herself for her answer, gone over it
in her mind, and come to the conclusion that she was more
ambitious than she'd ever suspected. "What about an
ex-wife?" she'd asked.
"That might be a different story," Erin had
answered. Michelle had nodded and ignored the queasy
feeling in her stomach.
She left and went into the bathroom, curling her hands
around the edge of the counter and leaning forward. 'You
are a horrible person,' she thought. But it was hard to
feel guilty about betraying her husband when she'd never
felt so empty inside.
"Get a divorce, it'll make things easier," her
mom had said. This was the same advice she gave her
daughter after Michelle had found those messages in
Kevin's e-mail box and called her mom long-distance as
Michelle was sitting in a DC apartment and mourning a
life that would never happen now.
Come back to California, her mom had said. Get a divorce
and come back. Michelle had left her job at DARPA and run
back home.
'Coward and deserter,' she looked in the mirror and
tucked a strand of errant hair away from her face. 'He
used to do that,' a voice whispered in her mind.
"Not anymore," she answered out loud. Michelle
was good at locking off parts of her life, forgetting
they existed until the world forced her to remember.
The pen was heavy in her hand and she barely looked at
the scrawled signature above hers.
"It's the best decision you could make," the
lawyer said.
"It is," Michelle said, pushing away from the
table. She looked down. Three more years of her life
washed away, nullified, useless.
When she made her vows on that winter day a year and a
number of months earlier she'd never suspected that
forever could be such a short period of time.
End.
|