“If you need something, Mr. Bauer, please ring for me.” With one last vigilant look of the various devices and a friendly smile on her face, the nurse left the room.

Relieved, Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It was so good just to lie there and do nothing. He felt wretched, but this was predictable after the events of the last few hours. Just to give in, to let go of everything in his mind and erase the horrible images from his memory – this was exactly what he wanted most for the time being.

A short alarming beep, however, forced him back to reality all too quickly. Reluctantly he opened his eyes and took a skeptical, slightly cross look at the flashing indicator of one of the unnerving devices. He didn’t need all of this to know that, at the moment, his health didn’t look too promising. If it were his choice, he would simply get rid of all this stuff and clear out. But then he recalled Kim’s look before his eyes. Not only her concern, but her resolution when the doctors informed her of his alarming physical condition.

And he had read something else in her eyes – fear. Fear had also been in her voice when she told him how much she loved him and that she felt so sorry for him. She tried not to let him sense her worries, but Jack knew his daughter too well.

Dammit! He had always known exactly what he wanted and was prepared to fight for it…uncompromisingly, but he was helpless towards the fear his daughter felt. Jack sighed humbly when he thought of himself having promised Kim, against his will, to let everything wash over him – what the doctors considered necessary…the grateful look in her eyes had disturbed the beat of his heart again.

So without resisting, he had surrendered to the doctors’ orders, although this hadn’t been his original intention. He had been sure that his stay in this hospital wouldn’t last longer than just a few hours. As it looked now, it would be days.

He turned his head slightly and his gaze wandered from the devices to his bed. There he lay, in a bed covered with flowing-white bed linen – in a room with bare walls, with a ton of medical contraptions serving to scrutinize him, but also intent to help him back on his feet.

A bitter smile cornered his mouth. He, who never stopped in the face of danger and was always prepared to put his life at risk, felt utterly helpless here, so entirely out of place. But he was forced to endure because he had given his word.

His gaze wandered further to the huge window. He could see a piece of blue sky between the buildings and the noise of the street intruded on him. Cars blew their horns. Somewhere, the siren of a speeding ambulance wailed – everyday-noises of a big city, a city that Jack loved so much – a city that had almost fallen victim to an inferno.

Much had happened in the past 24 hours – almost too much. Hours full of disaster, chaos and worry. Hours that couldn’t have been more dramatic, during which he had looked death into the face more than once. He had lived through innumerable days like these, but it had never been as hard as today – not even on that day he lost Teri…forever.

This had been a shattering consequence of his job, for which he had taken complete responsibility. But after the brutal murder of Teri, he wasn’t capable to go on any longer. He’d been granted a leave of absence for an indefinite period and Jack wanted out – nothing more to do with any of this.

Had he really bought into this? Jack had to smile, because he realized one thing today: without the rush of adrenaline now and then, he would miss something, even though he felt totally shattered each time.

After Teri’s death, he had felt so empty and burned out that it would have been impossible for him to concentrate on the difficult work.

Teri! The memory of her made him moan in pain. No!!…he didn’t want to think of her now. He wanted to close that chapter in his life. She would never, ever disappear totally from his heart; her image would not fade away entirely, but he had to finally stop torturing himself with self-reproach.

“Dammit” escaped his lips when another warning beep of the intruding devices, which controlled everything, reminded him of his banged-up status. But what did he expect? After all, wasn’t this a miracle he had lived through? He’d been almost tortured to death and it was only due to quick intervention of a doctor that he was still alive. But instead of giving his tortured heart rest afterwards, he just continued and rigorously ignored the warning signals of his body. The hours following required his full engagement and he couldn’t afford to let go for a moment or give himself some rest.

Now he had a break, but he wasn’t able to relax entirely. The frequent images in his head couldn’t just be put aside, even if he preferred that. Once he closed his eyes, they crept back into his consciousness.

He knew there were only two possibilities to solve this problem. Either he had to face the facts and process the events or he had to push them aside completely. The latter would only be possible if he could throw himself into his work in order to avoid thinking. Unfortunately he lay in this damned bed and had to endure all possible scenarios. There was no use fighting it. So, he began processing the events of his latest operation.

So much had happened that he should have been thankful that the circumstances made it possible now to reassess everything.

OK…perhaps not everything…there were moments he didn’t want to think of – they were just too painful and left a bitter taste in his mouth. But did he have a choice? Probably not. He would have to scrutinize every single detail, however unpleasant. His superiors were waiting for his debrief. Instead of lying around here without any sense, he should just cope with it.

What had happened: Certain profit-seeking oil multi-nationals had tried to start a war with Arab countries. The trigger for this war should be an attack with an atomic bomb in Los Angeles.
At the last moment, CTU succeeded in preventing nuclear catastrophe and Jack would be precise in saying that he had been a huge factor in the outcome.

Many people had contributed their share. And without absolute cooperation and superb technical means at their disposal in the fight against their enemies, they wouldn’t have succeeded.

It brought Jack utmost satisfaction having averted such a huge disaster – to have protected Los Angeles and its population from certain destruction. However, some people had to pay with their lives – human beings whose death didn’t affect him, but human beings who had meant a great deal to him. This was always the price for these events…the other side of the coin. This never happened without losses – losses that often were very painful.

So many innocent employees at CTU had died today, but the worst of it was that Jack could have prevented that. He had tried to warn his friends and colleagues at CTU in time, but failed. The unauthorized political actions of government officials had prevented that. President Palmer’s forewarning came just minutes too late.

Jack condemned himself brutally, seeing that he had been forced to participate directly in the attack on his department. Had there been another solution?

Jack formed his right hand into a fist and struck his bed in rage – again and again, ignoring the warning beeps. Agony showed on his face. Could he have done anything to prevent the attack on CTU? No – in doing so he would have put the undercover operation at risk.

As so often, he was forced to make a decision – a life or death decision, and he’d done this being aware of the possible consequences. More than an attack on a government body was in jeopardy – much more. The survival of an entire city was at stake… the lives of millions.
He had weighed the lives of countless people against the lives of a few. He didn’t have another choice.

Although Jack’s mind chewed on this thought again and again, the facts didn’t leave him unscathed. Outwardly he was the detached, consummate agent. Only a handful of people knew his true feelings. Jack was a master in reining in his feelings, at least most of the time. But today he had been pushed beyond his limits. Throughout much of the day he had felt tears stinging his eyes. And these certainly hadn’t been tears of joy.

Several hours earlier, in the airplane when he said his goodbyes to his daughter, he had been convinced that he would never see her again. He’d endured her devastation, her defeat and her pain when he had to tell her this would be good-bye forever. He had grasped the tears in her voice and felt the love in her words, a love which he missed so much since Teri’s death. During these few seconds, they had experience a bond as never before, but separated so far physically.

But things took a completely different path. George had finished what had been his own mission. Jack didn’t want to accept his sacrifice, but George presented convincing arguments to him. Arguments he could not steel his heart against. For George, there had not been any hope. His life would last a few, short hours, perhaps only minutes. He made it clear that Jack would be more valuable to his country if he lived, that his sacrifice, which appeared so heroic, was only an escape from himself and that there were some things in his life that he should iron out as soon as possible.

Jack was determined to do just that. He would talk to Kim and hope that she would forgive him. His chances were not out of reach. It would take some time until things between them would be as if they’d been in earlier times – if this could be at all possible. Today, his daughter had taken the first step in this direction.

He loved Kim more than anything in the world. She was the most precious thing he had and her silent rejection had hit him deeply. However, he could understand it. Teri’s death had hurled Kim into a state of shock, and for her it had been even more difficult to cope with than it had been for him. Never had she been confronted with the loss of a person so close to her. She had withdrawn from her dad and Jack asked himself if Kim blamed him for the death of her mother. She never confirmed his suspicion but he couldn’t see another explanation for her behaviour.

But today when they both believed they wouldn’t see each other again, it had come out in the open. She asked for his forgiveness and he’d been more staggered by this than a thousand other words she could have said. Could there have been a better basis for a new start in their relationship?

She stood at his stretcher and held his hand as he was shoved into the ambulance. She refused to leave his side for a second and promised to take care of him in the future.

Jack had to smile when he thought of her words. His little girl had grown up. In the short time she had spent at the Matheson’s, she had become a self-confident young woman and Jack was very proud of her.

But another thing had dawned on him. Destiny could hit quickly and relentlessly. Nothing was as secure as it appeared – or as you would have it. Destiny had given him a second chance and he was determined to make use of it. He would play a part in his daughter’s life more than ever. Of course he would avoid interfering in her life directly and too much. He wouldn’t make this mistake. It was clear to him that she would only build a wall of self-defense and defiant behaviour. Nevertheless, he would try to encourage her without meddling, in order to steer her cautiously on the right track.

Unfortunately, Jack thoughts went from Kim to another woman. And although he had come to know her only a few hours ago, she managed to penetrate his thoughts. First, imperceptibly, then rather vigorously by her conduct, her behaviour and her courage. This woman led him to feel, for the first time in a rather long time, interest in a woman.

“Kate,” he murmured dreamily, her name melting in his mouth. A little smile cornered his mouth, which was solemn way too often. He closed his eyes and he summoned her face. With her enchanting smile she looked at him. The wind played with her long, blond hair. Her eyes beamed at him. Eyes designed to drive a man out of his mind.

------

He felt the lukewarm wind on his naked chest, how it caught in his chest hair and played with it. It was a pleasant, slightly tickling feeling – and Jack enjoyed it. The sun burned relentlessly on his skin. And under his body, he felt the warm, fine-grained sand. He listened to the crashing of the surf and the murmuring of the waves. The wind brought the smell of the sea to him,

Slowly, Jack opened his eyes and blinked against the glaring sunlight.

Could there be anything more beautiful…more relaxing than just to stretch out in the sand and enjoy the calmness of this idyllic bay. Subconsciously, he had to smile.

He pulled himself semi-upright, turned to his left side and propped his head on his hand. Still smiling, he looked at the woman basking on the sand beside him.

Kate was on her back, totally relaxed. She had closed her eyes and seemed to sleep. Slowly, Jack’s gaze wandered along her slim body. Her toenails were polished in a light rose. Not a single hair on her beautiful, well-shaped legs. Her skin glowed in a light gold and brown.

His gaze wandered further upwards and stopped at her bikini bottoms, which were more than tight fitting. Jack swallowed hard. The turquoise bikini fit her perfectly. On her skin, the residue of her sun block slightly shimmered.

Jack felt an overwhelming need to touch her – to stroke her body. He fought it…struggling with the urge to control himself. In spite of this, his fascinated gaze glided further upwards, passing her belly button, stopping at last on the top of her bikini, equally close fitting. The firm curves of her breasts found him swallowing hard again and a pleasant spasm of desire flooded his body.

How could this woman mesmerize him like this? After Teri’s death, hadn’t he accepted that he’d never again have this feeling of sexual desire for a woman? But obviously, Kate did this easily. Only one look at her breathtaking body was enough to trigger the heat in him.

Reluctantly, he managed to pull his gaze from her breasts. She wore a slim silver chain around her neck. His eyes followed the slim line of her neck, wandered past her chin and over to her slightly opened mouth. The desire to kiss her seductive lips grew unbearable and he could not suppress a barely audible sigh.

His right hand gathered some sand and, with a somewhat roguish smile, Jack let it ripple slowly from his fingers on Kate’s belly. Obviously this tickled her, as her hand came up to interrupt the tickling feeling. Jack’s smile deepened, and with the sand, made a track in the direction of her breasts.

Blinking, Kate opened her eyes. She turned her head slightly and looked at him with her grey-blue eyes, puzzled. A smirk appeared on her mouth when she caught the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Her small smile threw Jack totally off balance. Before he realized what he was doing, he bent over her and touched her lips softly with his mouth. Kate seemed to have waited for his move and she eagerly responded to his kiss. Her willingness heightened his desire and his kiss grew more intense, more urgent.

Suddenly his lips left hers and he propped himself up more. Her eyes looked at him with tenderness and Jack sighed.

“How did you do that, Kate?” She tilted her head to one side and blinked against the sun. To see him better, she overshadowed her eyes with her left hand.

“What do you mean?” she asked him with a slight astonishment in her voice.

“You know perfectly well what I mean.” Jack looked seriously into her eyes.

“Perhaps. But I would like to hear it from you, Jack.”

Tortured, he moaned. “Dammit, Kate, how are you doing this?” he replied when she looked at him questioningly. “I didn’t think it possible that a woman could fire up such feelings in me ever again.” In spite of the compliment, mourning and bitterness resonated in his voice.

For a brief moment, Jack glimpsed a sadness darken her eyes. But just as quickly, she regained her composure.

“You weren’t to blame for what happened back then, Jack.” Her voice was soft, but resolute. In their short time together, he learned that behind Kate’s soft character, he had found a woman with a powerful will. If need be, she was prepared to fight. On the very day he met her, he got a taste of her courage and her resolve…and it made a big impression on him. It was clear that she only wanted to support him with her words, but he couldn’t shake off the shadows of his past entirely. Again and again they crept up on him and let him drown in self-reproach and guilt.

Kate was an extraordinarily attractive woman. But Teri had been that – his Teri, whom he had loved more than anything. Jack sensed that the mourning he hadn’t felt for a long time, threatened to overwhelm him again. He quickly turned away from Kate and sat up. Immersed in thought, he looked out over the sea without really being aware of it.

He hadn’t noticed that Kate had also straightened up beside him. “Jack, look at me” she asserted with her soft, hushed voice. But, he didn’t react. He heard her voice…but his thoughts were with another woman.

“Please Jack, look at me.”

But he only saw Teri strolling towards him over the sand, with a smile on her face. And tears welled up in his eyes.

“Teri,” he whispered, filled with pain.

“Jack?” Kate’s unwavering voice interrupted his thoughts and he felt a hand touching his shoulder. Teri’s image faded away and he was overwhelmed by a feeling of infinite emptiness. He turned his head and looked at Kate.

“Jack, you were not to blame. You did everything to save her. Don’t punish yourself. I am sure Teri wouldn’t want that.”

“Yes, maybe” – his voice still filled with grief and bitterness. When he looked her into Kate’s eyes – when he saw the concern and love in them, a warm, pleasant feeling flooded him. Hope surfaced within him. “Thank you, Kate.” A smile cornered his eyes.

-----

“Hey Jack!” Hesitantly, Jack opened his eyes and looked at her with astonishment.

“Hey Jack,” she said again and smiled at him. Slowly, it dawned on him. She was really standing beside his bed and he was staring at her now, totally puzzled.

“Kate!” Astonishment and joy mixed in his voice. He smiled, when he raised his hand to her.

She smirked when she saw his puzzled look. So…she really had surprised him.

Who would have thought several hours ago that a man could fascinate her this way? But that’s exactly what had happened. She didn’t know when and how, but it was a fact that this man, who now lay helplessly among all this medical gadgetry, had completely mystified her.

Since their short reunion at CTU, she had thought of him almost constantly. She admired the way he took matters into his hands, steadfast, without any compromise and sees it through to the end. She admired his self-assurance, his willingness to sacrifice and his courage.

And yes, he was courageous; she didn’t doubt that. She recalled her terror when she looked back at that horrible moment. Jack’s plane with the nuclear bomb disappeared off the runway of the small airport. He had chosen, by his own hand…certain death. She had stared after the airplane, unable to move. Only Agent Baker managed in breaking through her numbness to bring her back to CTU.

The drive back had been a nightmare for her and she was not ashamed of her tears. She was trying to block out the images of his death that came to her mind. She failed. Again and again she saw the small airplane before her eyes, how it plummeted into the darkness and was reduced to ashes in the explosion.

Kate had forced a swallow in disbelief, and the smile on her lips froze slightly when she again became aware that Jack had barely escaped death. Incredibly, without warning or any preparation on her part, Jack stood in front of her again. She didn’t know the details. She was only aware that another person had been aboard and had flown the plane into the desert. At that moment, she couldn’t have cared less about the circumstances. She was just happy to see a living, breathing Jack again.

And she was happy now too, although she stood a little helpless in front of his bed. Stubbornly, she banished the dark memories and smiled at him, slightly bashful.

“C’mere, Kate.” Cautiously, she approached his bed.

“Jack, I…” she trailed off, embarrassed.

“I’m happy that you came.”

“I didn’t know if you…if you would like… if I...” Dammit, how could she explain to him that she just wanted to see him again?

”Kate, I’m happy that you came” he broke in. Every concern seemed to be lifted off her shoulders and she sighed with relief.

“When I’m released from here…would you drive with me to the beach, Kate?”

Astonished, she looked at him…then a happy smile lit up her face. “Yes, Jack.”

End.

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