Lost
& Found
by Bridget
Rating: G
Characters: Guess.
Warnings: Spoilers up to Season 3,
Episode 14
Summary: A mother searches for answers
about her daughter...
Disclaimer: I don't own the character
mentioned within blah blah
Thanks to catch22girl and midgewood58 for all their help with this story!
It was surreal, like
something out of a movie: the gray sky, the light
drizzle, the dead grass and the cemetery that was empty
save for herself and a groundskeeper. This is where her
search ended.
She looked at the piece of paper with the plot location
and grave number written on it then looked around the
graveyard once more.
She started down the path the groundskeeper had pointed
her on, her nerves still a little shaken. It was silly to
be embarrassed but she still worried that he would
recognize the grave, know who it belonged to. She would
see that look in his eyes, something that started off as
surprise then dissolved into disdain. But working in a
place like this, she knew whatever surprise she saw in
the groundskeeper's eyes was the fact that anyone would
visit at all. This was a cemetery for the unwanted --
homeless and criminals mostly.
Strange, that this was the end. When the two FBI agents
came to her door several weeks ago to ask about her
daughter she'd been hopeful. Twenty-five years of
wondering and waiting could be put to rest. It turned out
they were looking to her to get information not to give.
What they could tell her, though, was that her daughter
had been dead for nearly five years.
She wrapped her tweed coat around her as the wind grew
stronger. She had never been to California before, she
didn't expect it to be this cold even in late November.
She last saw Natalie before she had left for Harvard.
That she could get into a school like that had their
small Missouri suburb buzzing for month. She knew that
Natalie was thrilled to be going or at least thrilled to
leave Maplewood. Not that Natalie talked much about it to
her. They had never had a close relationship -- then she
had wanted to believe it was the typical strife that
mothers and daughters experienced even though she feared
otherwise. Unlike other girls, Natalie was never
emotional or clingy. She had a composure about her that
made her seem much older than her years. Even as a child
there was a distance in those green eyes that she
couldn't reach.
The only person Natalie ever did seem close to was her
sister Jackie. It wasn't a typical relationship between
sisters. They were less like the sometimes friends-sometimes
rivals you would expect in two girls their age. There
weren't any fights over clothes or late night chats just
a strange quiet bond that reminded her more of two battle-weary
soldiers than young girls. The two had formed their own
barrier that left her on the outside. She should have
asked herself then what, or who, they were protecting
themselves from.
She wished again that she had worn gloves as she shifted
the small bouquet into her right hand and slipped the
left into her pocket.
It was hopeless wishing for a different outcome, now that
her family was gone. Shortly after Natalie left for
school Jackie seemed to fall apart. Her youngest was
never home always spending the night at whatever friend's
house she could find. Anything to be out of the house and
away from her father especially.
Fred, their father, had tried to chalk it up to teenage
rebellion but that didn't explain the mixture of fear and
revulsion the girls had for him.
Natalie disappeared soon after leaving for college. When
she was told by the people at Harvard that her daughter
had dropped out she was stunned. She tried asking Jackie
for details but by then her daughter was barely speaking
to her. It wasn't until a few months later, after
Jackie's suicide, that she even got a clue about what
happened to her other daughter. Natalie had sent her
sister a postcard several months prior, it had a picture
of sidewalk cafe in Heidelberg on it and the message was
a short one.
And that was it.
She had stayed in the same town, in the same house even
after divorcing her husband, hoping that Natalie would
write or visit. It was hard, not knowing what had become
of her. Did she know about Jackie? Did Natalie know that
she had divorced her father? Would she forgive her for
being so blind all those years? Did she have a family of
her own? Was she in trouble -- or hurt?
Often times she would try picturing her -- what she would
look like, what her voice sounded like. She had been so
desperate for some answers she even contacted a few
psychics and once a private investigator but he couldn't
find anything. He said it was like Natalie "vanished
into thin air." If what the agents had told several
weeks ago was true, then the private investigator's
explanation now made sense.
The agents had asked her about her Natalie and then told
her about a "Nina Myers" who was connected to
these terrorists. They tried to tell her that her Natalie
was Nina Myers, that her Natalie was a terrorist.
Obviously, she didn't believe them. Not until they showed
her the pictures and she saw those familiar green eyes
made more unapproachable with time.
She stopped to take the small piece of paper out of her
pocket -- she had found the grave. It had a plain wooden
marker -- no name just a serial number. Laying the
bouquet down she let out a small sigh. It had been twenty-five
years and though left with more questions than answers --
she had found her daughter.
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